"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry." Daehyun mumbled as he tossed and turned in his bed.
His nights since the day of his near goodbye had been restless. He worried his members to near heartbreak and he wondered what had happened to him.
Of course he knew he missed you, he always missed you.
However, exactly what happened to drive him to the point of no return?
He continued to mumble. He was partially awake now and could feel eyes boring holes into his back.
Daehyun froze, and his eyes opened. “W-who’s there?” he asked, trying to hide the fear in his voice.
"You know who it is."
Daehyun turned around to see Zelo sitting in the arm chair in the far corner of the room. The moonlight crept in, leaving part of his face exposed to the light.
"Zelo." Daehyun sighed. "What are you doing in here? You have school in the morning."
His hint for Zelo to head to bed did nothing but pass in one ear & out the other.
"You scared me." he said, "Why would you do that?"
Daehyun sighed. “I don’t know.” he whispered, so unsure of himself. “I miss her.”
"But it wasn’t your fault!" Zelo cried, the tears he kept bottled up these past few weeks flowed from his red, worn eyes.
Daehyun hung his head.
"It wasn’t her fault either." he heard another voice chime in.
Both boys felt their skin crawl, not expecting anyone else to be in the room. Jongup came out of the dark corner by the closet, carrying his blanket and pillow.
"Do you two just watch me?" Daehyun asked, a little scared of the answer.
"No." Jongup replied, hurt at the suggestion. "We just sleep in here."
He sighed, motioned for them to join him, and the three fell asleep curled up next to each other.
The next morning Yongguk pried Daehyun from Zelo’s grasp. “Zelo.” he hissed, “You have school.”
The youngest yawned & stretched, plopping his feet onto the floor before standing up & waddling his way to the bathroom.
Yongguk gently shook Daehyun awake.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight that seeped through the curtains.
"We’ll be waiting." Yongguk said, then made his way out the door.
A few hours later, Daehyun found himself with Yongguk & HImchan, walking through the green hills once again.
This time it was different. He could feel it.
"You didn’t have to come, you know." Daehyun thought aloud, "But I’m glad you did."
Himchan smiled & clasped his hand onto Dae’s shoulder.
Yongguk walked ahead of them, carrying flowers.
"We’re here." he said, coming to a halt. He turned on his heel & handed the flowers to Daehyun.
"We’ll wait." Himchan said when Daehyun looked back at him. He nodded & made his way over the hill and past the trees.
There you were. He saw you, just as beautiful as the last time.
Daehyun made a move forward, but he felt as though his feet had melded into the ground. Why was he so scared?
"Dae." You said, a soft smile lighting up your face.
Daehyun found his bearings and managed his was to you. Stopping just a foot in front of you.
"I….I brought you these." He handed you the flowers, "They’re your favorite." he smiled meekly.
You held them up to your nose, closing your eyes & breathing in the sweetness of them. “They’re lovely.” You smiled.
Daehyun stood quietly, staring into your eyes as he nervously rocked back and forth on his heels.
He wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t seen you in a while, and it wasn’t in his best form either.
"I love you." he said, his voice cracking despite his protests.
You looked at him, how you longed to hold him again. His big beautiful eyes welled up with tears & no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t reach his face to wipe them away.
"I will never forget you," he whispered, wiping away a few escaped tears, "You are my everything. You make me happy."
You could feel the sun engulfing you in it’s warmth.
With each word he spoke, his voice became more and more faint.
"It’s time for me to let you go."
He took a step towards you, and though for just a moment, you felt his arms wrap around you, his heart beating so beautifully.
Yongguk & Himchan walked through the trees, finding Daehyun on his knees, embracing your tombstone, silent sobs carrying on the wind.
They smiled. You smiled.
And Daehyun felt his heart beat once more.
Characters: Daehyun, You, Yongguk, Himchan
"Let’s take a walk." The words spilled from his lips like water out of an overflowing glass.
Daehyun hadn’t felt like doing much since you left him.
You were his first love. Real love, that is. You were everything.
"A walk?" Himchan snorted, but quickly stopped once Yongguk jabbed him in the ribs.
"Yeah." Dae said, looking out the window at the happy clouds, dancing on the clear blue sky. "It looks nice out." he turned to flash a smile at his older friends.
They shrugged & agreed, Himchan reluctantly so, but he still agreed.
The 3 walked slowly through the park’s green hills.
Everything was light, airy, and soft.
"Ugh" escaped Himchan’s less than elated lips more than a few times, but Daehyun, finally happy with himself, decided to ignore it.
"Hey!" Yongguk exclaimed hastily, "Let’s go back to the cart we passed & get some cotton candy!"
Himchan narrowed his eyes, deciding whether or not to agree with him or to hit him. Daehyun however, saw right passed his false suggestion.
"Exactly what is over that hill?" he asked, taking a few steps closer to Yongguk.
"Nothing!" he exclaimed. "Absolutely nothing. I…." he slid his hands into his pockets as he searched for the words, "..I just really wanted some cotton candy?" he sighed.
Knowing he wasn’t very convincing, he gave up & stepped to the left as Daehyun reached his side.
Over the hill, stood your sister.
Daehyun felt his heart pound.
He swallowed back tears as he watched her playing with a kite, smiling.
Himchan looked at Daehyun, then at the girl, then back at Daehyun. “Is he crying?” he asked Yongguk, who nodded slowly. “Why the hell is he crying? She’s not even his ex!”
Daehyun stared stoically off into the distance. His hair ruffled in the wind.
"This isn’t a damn anime!" Himchan complained at a near scream as he threw his arms up in the air.
"You alright?" Yongguk asked, placing a hand on Dae’s shoulder.
"I’m fine." he lied. He gave a pursed smile, then looked back at her.
She was smiling. She was laughing.
They both reminded him so much of you.
He remembered how you would smile at him like that. How your lips sat open atop your pearly white teeth. How your eyes sparkled and how you’d touch his hand before your cheeks turned a rosy pink.
He remembered your laugh, it haunted him. Did he ever make you laugh? He couldn’t remember.
As he chased his memories around in his mind, his body stood still like a statue. He clearly heard Yongguk say “Dae, let’s go.” but it seemed so far away.
He was sure he felt Himchan poke him a time or two. In fact, he could still feel the sting it left behind. But no matter how hard he tried, reality was just too far away.
He caught up with his memory, and you were walking toward him.
"Daehyun." you said.
He stretched out his hand for you, but you were standing just outside of his reach.
"I miss you." he said, his bottom lip quivering. "Why did you leave me?"
You gave him a smile. “I never wanted to leave you, Daehyun. I had to.”
Daehyun felt his heart pounding again. His chest felt so heavy, if only he didn’t have this heart to weigh it down.
"You need to leave." you said, "This isn’t right."
You turned to walk away when you noticed that you couldn’t move.
"I love you." he whispered, tears drenching his wind chapped lips.
"I love you too." you said, "But you belong here."
"Let me come with you." he pleaded, reaching out for you again, and this time making contact.
Your eyes widened with worry. “Dae,” you sighed, “You can’t come.”
"But I need you!" he exclaimed, his voice carrying over the wind, which increased as the sunny sky made way for the gray one.
"No." Was all that could leave your lips.
Daehyun wasn’t himself. Where was his smile that you remembered so well? Where was the sparkle in his eye? The slight chuckle in his voice? Where was he?
"You can’t come." You tried again, shaking his grasp. "You belong where you are."
"I don’t." he cried, "I don’t. I can’t do this without you!"
Daehyun felt the knots in his stomach multiply. Why was this happening? He was doing so well before today.
He stared at you, your background had changed from a light summer’s day to a dark, stormy evening.
His eyes welled with tears & he could hear his name being yelled faintly.
"Daehyun!" Yongguk & Himchan yelled, worry dripping off their voices.
"You can’t come." you said, as you walked away into the darkening clouds.
You found that you still couldn’t go very far, and Daehyun was still begging you not to leave him.
"I need you!" he yelled, "My heart is broken. I can’t forget you." he cried,
"You don’t need to forget me." You said, "You just need to let me go."
Himchan’s grip on his arm tightened and stung. Yongguk’s voice was loud and clear.
"DAEHYUN!" he yelled, a crack in his deep voice.
"I love you." Daehyun whispered as you disappeared.
Suddenly it became very clear to him where he was standing. He looked down & found that he could see passed his feet.
He closed his eyes & opened them again slowly. Becoming more aware that there was a 40ft drop & Himchan’s grip was so tight on his arm that he couldn’t feel his blood pumping through it.
"DAEHYUN!" Yongguk yelled again. "DAE! Come back to us!"
Daehyun, eyes filled with tears, looked back at his older friends.
"I’m sorry." he whispered before falling into Himchan’s arms.